“Hoe, Hoes and Ayesha Curry”: My View

7 minute read

Author: Nicole Nichelle

By now you’ve heard of and passionately debated “the tweet”. The infamous tweet that sent “send me nudez” twitter into a slut shaming, “hoe” hurling rampage.

Just to catch you up:

“Whaaa – what did she say wrong” asked the many willfully naive folks in the twitterverse. As IF they would be okay if Steph Curry said:

“Oh, I see everyone’s wearing  “on sale” watches these days, huh? Rolex is my style. I like to be seen in the good stuff for the one that matters 😂😂😂

“Just looking at the latest fashion trends. I’ll take classy over trendy any day of the week.

So for those still trying to figure out why folks might feel some type of way about the wording, just stew on that for a second.

If Steph Curry in this situation had merely stated “Rolex is really my style” no harm, no fowl (no retweets). But framing a “harmless statement of style” with an “us vs. them” dichotomy can be a problem. It morphs into a quip, dripping with negative implications toward those who might not have thousands in their watch budget this year.

Alas, the situation at hand is not hypothetical.

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Despite the many pretending that the push back was just rabid feminists exacting their evil plan to make everyone walk around naked 24/7, a very telling thing happened shortly after some women started sharing their distaste for Ayesha Curry’s tweets.

Droves of  men jumped to and delighted at the opportunity to call any and every woman detractor (particularly Black Women of Color) hoes. Just look at the analytics below for Twitter regarding the mention of “hoe”, “hoes” and “Ayesha Curry”.

Ayesha Curry WordPress.PNG

Mention of Ayesha Curry more than quadrupled and the mention of “hoefolk” doubled from the day before. Call it a “Hoe Storm“.

Now this isn’t hard science, obviously. It could be argued that twitter just decided to drastically increase use of the term on that particular day because it was national “disrespect women you don’t know on social media day”. We may never know *mystified voice*.

What we do know is her tweets created and environment where men vehemently ridiculed women who don’t share Ayesha Curry’s style preference and labeled them as the opposite of classy with all manner of colorful name calling and shaming. “Find you a Michelle Obama not an Amber Rose” trope as if women only exist in two forms – or that women like FLOTUS exist to battle other women at the behest of their “Kings”  instead of uplifting and respecting them.

To be clear,  Ayesha didn’t ask those men and some women to do this. They did this on their own which brings up the real discussion we should be having:

It’s not about clothes.

It’s not about women who dress “provocatively” or “nicely”.

It’s not even really about Ayesha Curry.

Why are we so obsessed with controlling women and girls, especially when it comes to sexuality and style choices?

Amber Rose.PNG

We have dress codes in middle schools that stress propriety on prepubescent girls on GIRLS. On the same hand never stress the importance for boys to be respectful to every woman.  They learn they can be sexually promiscuous  towards a certain type of girl, a “slut” or a “hoe” from a young age. A 10 year old girl in a tank top in the summer is deemed a sexual distraction to her male classmates. Seriously. Those young boys grow up to the men we see now  who have the unmitigated gall to peruse the internet with naked women in their avatars,  calling women and girls out of their names.

We teach girls to be hyper aware that they are a sexual distraction for boys. That how they dress is central to how you will be treated by others. Then we teach boys they’re allowed to be distracted and disrespectful

They still have not learned respect and we still don’t require it from them. They were cheered on as they reacted to Curry’s opinion in such a disgusting way.

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There’s an ever changing list for what is is to  be a “real” or “desirable” woman/queen. The penalty for not adhering to the shifting goal post is never ending vitriol from “real men” who would never disrespect their queen -unless you decline their sexual advances/random requests for nude pictures then you’re somehow a hoe again. {That’s another post entirely}

Not to mention these very same “anti-thot” activists constantly reward scantily clad bodies in burger commercials or instagram feeds. So long as the image serves the straight male gaze. As long as men approve it and control it. Surely all of those who flew to the defense of Ayesha Curry, dutifully boycotted the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show. Wait. Maybe you actually did. Couldn’t tell from the millions of Tweets that day.

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Women unfortunately hopped on the bandwagon too. It’s just as unacceptable if not doubly so. I’m someone who is constantly  avoiding being placed in the “good girl”, “queen” category just because of the way I commonly choose to present my own style.  I know those labels come with an extensive terms & conditions statement. I reject it. It’s a lie. Who I am goes far beyond what I put on in the morning. I know nothing about the complexity of a woman based on what she is wearing. You don’t either. Cut it out.

Nobody is mad if Ayesha Curry reaches for a turtleneck over a crop top. Her style is great. It’s flattering. However, framing a statement in the way she did is shady and you know it.

The overwhelming reaction to lecture and label women as “thots”, “hoes” and “sluts” by “real women”, “real men” and even Church folk is troubling. Don’t  bother discussing the clothes if you’re not brave enough to question that reaction.

If you’re still on the kid stages of trying to figure out why folks were offended…… well, please continue to sort that out. Can’t help you but we’ll be here when you catch up.

Even women who have a more buttoned up style understand the importance of not degrading women. Think about why you are itching to do it. Then stop.

Let NO MAN who has begged for nudes or has them on his phone currently comment on this post.

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