Here are all the flavors of Chris Jamal Evans yall had me cook up. Hope it brings a smile to your face or moves a pen that hasn’t graced a page in a while. Enjoy friends!
By Nicole Nichelle
*The #CaptainAcrylica girl, yes.
You all asked so here they are all in one place! Will be updating and building out this page as the day goes on. Don’t mind my website! Currently rebuilding it to make it more accessible/ ADA compliant + stylish and purty. If you have any issues viewing this page, email firstname.lastname@example.org and I’ll do my best to work it out with you! Thanks everyone for sharing the laughs and of course Chris Jamal Evans for being such a dynamic performer. You make it easy sis.
Chris Jamal Evans aka 'Thee Fade King' is the only Yte man w/ a chair at The Barbershop. He's a sweetheart who drove his ex to church every Sunday.— Nicole Bad & Blerdy (@alamanecer) March 24, 2020
But the usually laid back Chris is very nervous today…
He's never shaped up another white mans hair before. https://t.co/g9WKOmR4zj
Chris Constantine Evans owns a High Concept Bar™️ called 'Cherry Blossom' by day but is a STRICT Dom after hours known as Daddy Snow.— Nicole Bad & Blerdy (@alamanecer) March 21, 2020
He's just found out just how much you've been actin up in these Twitter streets & thinks you need some discipline. WYD? #ChrisJamalEvans https://t.co/2he2BJLCqQ
Senior IT Analyst Chris Theodore Evans at the exact moment he realized his work bae wasn't lying abt "being free" while working from home.— Nicole Bad & Blerdy (@alamanecer) March 21, 2020
He's about to risk it all. Thinkin it's time to marry to work wife *for real* Chris sends a BOLD Slack message. WYD? #ChrisJamalEvans https://t.co/jD3gn7IZhi
“Building off her point….”— Nicole Bad & Blerdy (@alamanecer) December 13, 2019
“Piggybacking on Emma's statement”
“CATAPULTING off what I *think Maya’s trying to say…”
There isn’t a single femme colleague tech bro Christoff A. Evans hasn’t interrupted in a meeting.
Only nice to women he’s attracted to. https://t.co/jYS9S26rMc
Chris Giovanni Evans. Filthy rich, thinks he's a model, Ana Wintour only tolerates him bc his parents are patron sponsors of the Met Gala.— Nicole Bad & Blerdy (@alamanecer) October 25, 2019
This spread will run online only. Chris will tell EVERYONE he "models for Vogue" at parties. Tyra hates him. https://t.co/BRRXDXLuwm
Chris Jamal Evans.Every white boy who went to my 84% Black highschool. Constantly cussing out his racist family members. Never says the n-word and is summoning up the courage to ask cheer captain Isis to prom. #EastComptonClovers https://t.co/kOfW6KBefX — Nicole Bad & Blerdy (@alamanecer) October 25, 2019
Chris Noah Evans, the personal trainer who frequents the same brunch spots & bars you do. A sweetheart, never makes you feel self-conscious & yall easily fall into flirtatious banter.— Nicole Bad & Blerdy (@alamanecer) October 26, 2019
Usually goes nowhere but tonight he asked you back to his place. wyd? https://t.co/7V8Bz9WyOf
Chris Damian Evans. Loyal friend & life of the party! Swears he can predict the weather using the power of his left man boob alone. He calls it THE PECTOMETER.— Nicole Bad & Blerdy (@alamanecer) October 30, 2019
Chris is currently awaiting confirmation of his latest & most common forecast,
"69% chance of rain." ⛈💦 https://t.co/HpPKZb28Re
Good Ole Chris Billy-Joe Evans. Heroic Mechanic.— Nicole Bad & Blerdy (@alamanecer) October 31, 2019
Says he once narrowly saved a woman who turned out to be the Grandmother of Barack Obama. The attacker? The biggest baddest pomade wearin Bad Dude™ GANGSTER of his time.
Corn Pop. https://t.co/feflkjI1qo
Christopher Logan Evans. Best friend from University who never expected anything romantic but confessed having feelings a week before graduation.— Nicole Bad & Blerdy (@alamanecer) October 26, 2019
Nothing happened but while in Boston for a conference, he's asked you to drop by his charity event & dinner later.
You goin? https://t.co/TtWr55zPHs
Mariah Carey's backup dancer turned R&B songwriting star, Chris Marshawn Evans. Dating rumors have swirled around him and Queen Mimi for years.— Nicole Bad & Blerdy (@alamanecer) October 29, 2019
They still laugh it off. She released butterflies at a secret wedding to his now-husband Lance Bass. https://t.co/8kfZkRUTQj
Country Music star Chris Clay Evans. Hopped on the remix to "Body Like A Back Road" by Sam Hunt & added the lyric— Nicole Bad & Blerdy (@alamanecer) October 30, 2019
Gotta a girl from the southside
Got braids in her hair
She can have her lil bonnet on
I'll still take it there🎶
Has liked every one of Lizzo's Instagram posts. https://t.co/pdBMasx6qM
This is High School Musical's Sharpay & Ryan Evans older brother Chris Bolton Evans. He's the new drama coach at East High. Chris and his pupils will descend on your favorite hits like the plague.— Nicole Bad & Blerdy (@alamanecer) October 27, 2019
Claps on the 1's & 3's while listening to Beyoncés Homecoming. https://t.co/bjTKOj2DMI
Chris Theodore Evans. A no-nonsense Startup Guy™ who meets a stray dog he just can't shake while visiting family.— Nicole Bad & Blerdy (@alamanecer) October 28, 2019
Chris faces a tough choice. Will he leave his new pal Shadow behind or bring him back to the Big City?
Answer is yes. The entire plot was revealed in the trailer https://t.co/XkPgpMiqlI
Chris really ought to hire you to curate a coffee table book of these— Haunty McKenna 🦇 (@HoneyBMcKenna) October 29, 2019
I know you have been blessed with a literary agent and I am so excited for you, but I need you to get greenlit by Netflix now. I need this. I need it so bad.— Katelyn (@katelynanne) November 29, 2019
Another fire alarm went off in the hotel next to your building. Guest Chris Rashad Evans just realized he left his room key in the rush to get to safety. (goshdarnit!)— Nicole Bad & Blerdy (@alamanecer) November 28, 2019
Are you going to help him? You need to be to work in 20 minutes. #ChrisJamalEvans https://t.co/pZEkBgKJPS
"Was I too drunk?" Close friend Chris Joseph Evans at least removed his jacket as you tuck him in his bed.— Nicole Bad & Blerdy (@alamanecer) November 28, 2019
"You're fine" putting a hand to his chest.
The energy shifts as you lean down to kiss his forehead. He places a hand over yours.
Time to go. "Drink your water. Goodnight" https://t.co/NHh5kYS5vU
Neighbor Chris Jay Evans has had a hopeless crush on you for ages. He owns a 'Hot Bois Construction Co.' but always does your repairs for free when the landlord ignores repeated calls.— Nicole Bad & Blerdy (@alamanecer) November 28, 2019
Chris appears READY 👏🏾TO 👏🏾GO after u text:
"I need u now Jay"
the heater was broken… https://t.co/GuBjmkYukg
Christopher 'Faretti' Evans.— Nicole Bad & Blerdy (@alamanecer) October 25, 2019
A club promoter from Jersey who won $1.6M on a lucky scratch-off ticket.
Chris is a sweetheart but buys stupid stuff. Here he is posing for a self-portrait with his new English Mastiff dog G-Money. https://t.co/EAmAFl1Sjt
This is every "well actually" any man has ever used to insert himself in conversation personified. He's out of his depth but speaks over women anyway because he read an article once. This a$$h*le doesn't get to be a Chris.— Nicole Bad & Blerdy (@alamanecer) October 25, 2019
He's Chet. Chet Evans. https://t.co/IwGFmxxX5i
Christopher Gabriel Evans, reformed f*ckboi. Met you in a feminist philosophy lecture. He insists on going in half on birth control but refuses to let you pick up the dinner tab.— Nicole Bad & Blerdy (@alamanecer) October 28, 2019
Chris runs some last anniversary errands, excited to surprise his gf w/ tickets to see Roxane Gay. https://t.co/mRhDfur0vf
Chris Bartholomew Evans. A Tik-Tok Teen helping his classmates organize a school-wide walkout to get teachers their promised wage increases.— Nicole Bad & Blerdy (@alamanecer) October 28, 2019
Attended the Women's March with his mom, enjoys wearing a 'vintage 90's aesthetic'
His dad voted for 45. https://t.co/Kel7l8szGk
Known flirt and E! News host Chris Carson Evans.— Nicole Bad & Blerdy (@alamanecer) October 31, 2019
His tea is always piping hot & LIVES for drama. Yall went out last night and made out just a lil. Oops.
Currently, you're promoting Girls Trip 2. He's across from you in the interview lookin like this.
WYD? ☕️ https://t.co/CDbzjDTqxx
Your struggling model boyfriend Christopher Daughtry Evans quit his job at Abercrombie to pursue his dreams full time.— Nicole Bad & Blerdy (@alamanecer) October 31, 2019
Chris forgot your 2-year anniversary last week but tells you he just booked an exclusive Gucci contract & wants to make it up to u.
You forgiving or nah? https://t.co/hrUj1YRTPj
Chris Alexander Evans. Received a sizeable inheritance, works as a stockbroker at his father's firm.— Nicole Bad & Blerdy (@alamanecer) October 25, 2019
Makes a point to SPEAK LOUDLY on conference calls he takes just outside the Delta Skymiles Club. Can't leave the house w/o his $15k Portugieser watch. https://t.co/excw7qFrO2
Christopher GINO Evans. Works at your favorite deli and always gives you sandwiches for free. Yall have an agreement if you both aren't married in 15 years it's finna be a "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" trilogy.— Nicole Bad & Blerdy (@alamanecer) October 26, 2019
He has no less than 8 girlfriends. https://t.co/Zvhqzbx0B2
Chris Jamal asked Isis to prom but she'd had a date.— Nicole Bad & Blerdy (@alamanecer) October 31, 2019
At the 10-year HS reunion they laugh abt it & Chris offers his hand for a slow dance, the prom night they never had. Isis has an early flight so CJ walks her out.
Both linger. As Isis turns to leave, he takes one step forward https://t.co/uLuNjY3ZTK